[If Dean doesn't mind that Castiel's a bit strange, then he won't let it bother him either. That's a facet of their relationship, the fact that Dean's always managed to put up with the oddities of Castiel's behavior. It's part and parcel of being friends with an angel, of course, but Dean never let himself get so hung up on that fact that it put a barrier between them.
No, it's the arguments and avoidance that tends to do that, although that usually happens because they care too much, rather than too little.
When Castiel realizes Dean's stopped walking, he pauses and turns to face him. They're close to the ocean now, enough that the sea breeze causes both his coat and hair to shift around.
The apology only causes Castiel to tilt his head. Dean can be apologetic about the fact that he's avoided him this past month or so, but beyond that he's got nothing to feel sorry for. He shouldn't feel responsible for the things that Wonderland has done, nor should he feel as if he isn't good enough.]
I realize that the two of you aren't the same, and I also don't expect you to replace him. You're the same, but different. [Castiel isn't asking for anything. That's not what this is about.]
If anyone stole something, it was Wonderland. But Dean, you're just as important to me as you've always been. [He shakes his head.] That much will never change. I wanted to explain my behavior to you. We don't have to speak of it again, if that's what you'd prefer.
[He realizes that it puts Dean in an awkward position. He didn't live through any of those things, he's only heard it second-hand. But at least he'll understand a little better now.]
[ dean nods. he's not entirely convinced, probably won't be for a while, but for now he can trust cas to at least be telling the truth. him accepting it is another matter.
it dawns on him then -- or again, as it has many times before -- how much cas is willing to forgive and forget when it comes to dean and how he treats the angel. most people get fed up with him real quick, but never cas.
but then, this is what having a best friend is all about, right? ]
As long as we don't have to talk 'bout this every day, it's alright. The whole long walks on the beach thing is kinda sappy, too. [ as if dean hadn't sought out the beach on his first wandering night trip in wonderland. he's smiling some by then, even if the next bit is added quietly, hesitantly. ]
You can... you can still talk to me, though. About things. When you feel like it.
[ even these things. no matter how uncomfortable they might end up making dean. ]
[Castiel can tell when Dean's making a joke, and this one is even at his own expense, seeing how the two of them have already engaged in conversation down by the docks.
They're at the edge of the shoreline now, though at this point Castiel's said most of what he needs to. He wouldn't mind walking down the length of the beach, anyway, as the sound of the waves is oddly soothing. There's something orderly and predictable in a tide, something he can find comfort in.
Though Dean's trying his best to make up for his behavior in the past month or so, which Castiel appreciates. These things are not easy for either of them to say.]
I will. [Maybe he won't always want to talk about it, but if he does, at least he knows that Dean is open to it. That alone means a great deal.
Castiel bows his head, eyes fixed on his shoes which are slightly sandy now.] Thank you, Dean.
[ dean feels considerably better. it's quiet right now, somewhere in his chest, but he does, there's lightness where there had been tension before. everything between them has finally be said, so... so things can go back to being normal. even if normal isn't quite the same. but then, when is their normal ever actually normal? ]
Don't sweat it.
[ he shrugs off the thank you with a smile. it's really the least he can do. there's a pause before he nudges cas with his shoulder, voice growing more casual, all the stress gone. ]
Now that this is all cleared up, I need to find one of those meat pies you came up with. Shit was real good.
[ it's like having dinner and desert in one go-- except with room for even more desert after... and it means that despite what had happened between them and that pie, the experience hasn't been ruined. ]
[Everything in Dean's demeanor indicates that all has been forgiven. That small moment of physical contact, the fact that he's still willing to eat one of those meat pies even with the reminder of what happened the first time...
It's a kind of acceptance, and more than Castiel would have expected or asked for.
So the smile that touches at his lips seems to be similarly effortless.]
All you would need to do is return to the dining hall and think of what you want. It should appear.
[Castiel doesn't feel hunger anymore, just like usual, but he wouldn't mind sharing one of those with Dean just because. He doesn't actually suggest it, though, since he doesn't know how it would go over.
Instead, his gaze shifts out to the ocean.] I think I'll take a walk. [He doesn't particularly care if it's "sappy."]
[ the diner's kinda awesome like that, plus it helps that ned works there-- he makes a mean pie, and sometime dean'll have to introduce cas to his goods too, whether the angel eats or not.
for now though, he takes a few steps back towards the mansion, only turning some mid-step as he rolls his eyes at cas... affectionately enough, at least. ]
If you get too much sand in your shoes, you know where to find me.
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action;
No, it's the arguments and avoidance that tends to do that, although that usually happens because they care too much, rather than too little.
When Castiel realizes Dean's stopped walking, he pauses and turns to face him. They're close to the ocean now, enough that the sea breeze causes both his coat and hair to shift around.
The apology only causes Castiel to tilt his head. Dean can be apologetic about the fact that he's avoided him this past month or so, but beyond that he's got nothing to feel sorry for. He shouldn't feel responsible for the things that Wonderland has done, nor should he feel as if he isn't good enough.]
I realize that the two of you aren't the same, and I also don't expect you to replace him. You're the same, but different. [Castiel isn't asking for anything. That's not what this is about.]
If anyone stole something, it was Wonderland. But Dean, you're just as important to me as you've always been. [He shakes his head.] That much will never change. I wanted to explain my behavior to you. We don't have to speak of it again, if that's what you'd prefer.
[He realizes that it puts Dean in an awkward position. He didn't live through any of those things, he's only heard it second-hand. But at least he'll understand a little better now.]
action;
it dawns on him then -- or again, as it has many times before -- how much cas is willing to forgive and forget when it comes to dean and how he treats the angel. most people get fed up with him real quick, but never cas.
but then, this is what having a best friend is all about, right? ]
As long as we don't have to talk 'bout this every day, it's alright. The whole long walks on the beach thing is kinda sappy, too. [ as if dean hadn't sought out the beach on his first wandering night trip in wonderland. he's smiling some by then, even if the next bit is added quietly, hesitantly. ]
You can... you can still talk to me, though. About things. When you feel like it.
[ even these things. no matter how uncomfortable they might end up making dean. ]
action;
They're at the edge of the shoreline now, though at this point Castiel's said most of what he needs to. He wouldn't mind walking down the length of the beach, anyway, as the sound of the waves is oddly soothing. There's something orderly and predictable in a tide, something he can find comfort in.
Though Dean's trying his best to make up for his behavior in the past month or so, which Castiel appreciates. These things are not easy for either of them to say.]
I will. [Maybe he won't always want to talk about it, but if he does, at least he knows that Dean is open to it. That alone means a great deal.
Castiel bows his head, eyes fixed on his shoes which are slightly sandy now.] Thank you, Dean.
action;
Don't sweat it.
[ he shrugs off the thank you with a smile. it's really the least he can do. there's a pause before he nudges cas with his shoulder, voice growing more casual, all the stress gone. ]
Now that this is all cleared up, I need to find one of those meat pies you came up with. Shit was real good.
[ it's like having dinner and desert in one go-- except with room for even more desert after... and it means that despite what had happened between them and that pie, the experience hasn't been ruined. ]
action;
It's a kind of acceptance, and more than Castiel would have expected or asked for.
So the smile that touches at his lips seems to be similarly effortless.]
All you would need to do is return to the dining hall and think of what you want. It should appear.
[Castiel doesn't feel hunger anymore, just like usual, but he wouldn't mind sharing one of those with Dean just because. He doesn't actually suggest it, though, since he doesn't know how it would go over.
Instead, his gaze shifts out to the ocean.] I think I'll take a walk. [He doesn't particularly care if it's "sappy."]
action;
[ the diner's kinda awesome like that, plus it helps that ned works there-- he makes a mean pie, and sometime dean'll have to introduce cas to his goods too, whether the angel eats or not.
for now though, he takes a few steps back towards the mansion, only turning some mid-step as he rolls his eyes at cas... affectionately enough, at least. ]
If you get too much sand in your shoes, you know where to find me.
[ waving his friend bye, dean heads off. ]