[ Usually, Sam's too tired for this kind of stuff. Too busy, too focused on small things like cases and Men of Letters stuff and all the reading and research that would have to go into those things. Right now, though, he's wrapped up in the grief of feeling broken apart from the people he's closest with and doesn't know how to handle it. He'd thought Wonderland to be their sanctuary, or whatever, at least as long as they had it.

Even that seemed to be breaking down in front of him, with every new word... ]

You already let me, Dean! You told me I could jump in the pit to stop Lucifer, that I could make my own decisions-- how is this any worse? I came up with that plan and spent all that time in the Cage for it; I'd do it again, but I know for a fact that just dying is like a gift compared to that whole experience.

[ He looks up at Dean with deepening desperation; if they can't agree, he just wants his brother to understand. He hadn't mentioned Gadreel and the Trials to prevent this from happening, and it'd come crashing down anyway. Would have, one way or another. ]

It would've fixed a lot of wrong, saved a lot of people. I know you're doing what you've always done, keeping me safe, but-- Jesus, Dean, I'm not gonna live forever.

[ There it is. After everything, after all their unnatural deaths-- Well, it's true, isn't it? They're just human, after all. ]

... You had a normal life back then. I was the one who showed up and sent that off the tracks.

[ Soul or not, it had been Sam who'd brought Dean back into the game. ]